Lord of the Rings Parody: The Ring of Nenya
by Paola R Jenny A and Dan
Summary: Okay, this is written by three people; one writes a chapter, then passes it on to another, and so on. Please review and tell me what ur favorite chapter is, but no flaming!!! ^_^


Lord of the Rings Parody: The Ring of Nenya  
  
By: Jenny Arriola, Paola Rodelas, and Daniel Andrade  
  
  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
It was a dismal, cloudy day as Paola, Daniel, Angela, and Jenny- four very normal (or somewhat normal) teens- walked around Plaza Bonita. It was Friday afternoon after school, and these four friends were utterly bored.  
  
"Come on, guys! We've been to every shop in the mall. What now?" Paola complained.  
  
"Hey, but we didn't go to Victoria's Secret!" Daniel hinted. Paola shook her head; she was very annoyed, for she was on the brink of boredom.  
  
"We didn't go into that one." Jenny pointed and the others turned to see this shop they overlooked. It was a bookstore; a rather old and quaint one that stood apart from the lofty, modern stalls of the mall. Despite its lack of class, it was somehow alluring. The four walked silently toward the store.  
  
Angie slowly pushed the door open and they looked in. The shop was filled with dusty shelves and even dustier books, but no people.  
  
"Is anybody inside?" Angie called out. No one answered.  
  
"We shouldn't be in here if the shopkeeper isn't around." Paola hesitated. The other three both disagreed, though.  
  
"It wouldn't hurt to just look through the books." Daniel grinned.  
  
"Maybe they sell N*Sync posters or books here!" Angie cried. She rushed off in search of them. Everyone else skimmed the shelves for potentially good books, but with no success. All the books seemed to be moldy old ones.  
  
"The most recent book I found was copyrighted 1954. Justin wasn't even born then!" Angie sighed. Just then, Paola called out. When they approached her, she had a black book in her hand.  
  
" 'Mysteries of the Unexplained'." Jenny read the title.  
  
"Let's read it!" Daniel urged, "It's probably full of freaky stuff!" Paola reluctantly turned to a random page and spotted a picture of a skeleton. It didn't appear human because it was short, and its hands and feet were large. She read the picture's caption out loud, " 'Skeleton of a human-like species. Some believe it to be the skeleton of a hobbit.'"  
  
"That can't be right. Hobbits aren't real!" Daniel replied skeptically. Just then, a blinding light surrounded them, and a gushing wind whirled through the hall. "Whoa, I bet we'll be taken to Card Captor's land!" Jenny joked. Before anything else was said, the four fortunate (or unfortunate?) teens were sent to the land of unknowness.  
  
They glimpsed around and saw trees of gold, crystal-clear rivers, and a weird but beautiful city ahead. "This doesn't look like Card Captor's land." Paola said in dismay. Silence followed, but suddenly, weird inaudible grumbles could be heard.  
  
"What's that?" Angie whispered.  
  
Then, at the horizon, unknown creatures sporting black walked with arms. Stupidly, the four youths screamed and darted away quickly. The girls' high- pitched screams were easily picked up by the menacing creatures, and they chased after them.  
  
"Quick, climb up a tree!" Daniel instructed. They all climbed up a separate tree. Soon enough, the black beings were at the foot of the trees. They could now be seen more clearly, and it was very clear now that they were hideous, ugly, and evil.  
  
One tried stabbing Daniel with a sword, but didn't prevail because our heroes were too high up in the trees. Fortunately, none of these ebony-clad men (well, not men exactly. More like demons.) carried any long-range weapons. Fate went against the four, however, when the beasts used their axes to chop the trees down, starting with Angie's tree. She shrieked in fear.  
  
"Don't you have anything we could use in your purses?" Daniel asked the girls. Paola and Jenny quickly opened their bags. Paola took out a bottle of perfume and rapidly sprayed it into the nearest creature's eyes. It growled in pain, stumbled, and fainted. Jenny took out her mascara, blush, lipstick, eye shadow, eyeliner, lip liner, and lip-gloss and pelted the bad beings with them. One of the containers with blush opened, and powder rained on the men in black, now in baby pink. They ran off in fear of this "new magic".  
  
The four sighed with relief and came down from their trees. A man with long silky brown hair and pointed ears approached them.  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
"Hark! Who goes there?" He proclaimed in a loud voice.  
  
"Should we answer?" asked Paola.  
  
"What do we have to lose?" replied Jenny, "Hi! Umm… My name is Jenny, this is Paola, Angie, and the guy is Daniel."  
  
"Hey!" Daniel protested, "The g-"  
  
"Welcome. But you didn't say what you were." Responded the stranger.  
  
"Uh, humans?" Angie said, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"Oh. You must be from Gondor. I a-"  
  
"What's a Gondor?" Daniel interrupted. The stranger was about to answer when a screech pierced the sky.  
  
"Nazguls!" yelled the stranger and whistled loudly. Four white, shining horses came running out of the forest.  
  
"Get on a horse!" he screamed.  
  
"We don't know how to ride!" cried Jenny.  
  
He sighed, picked up Jenny, and put her on a horse. He did the same for the other teens, and then got on the horse with Jenny on it.  
  
"Ride to Mirkwood!" he called and the horses sped off into the woods.  
  
"My name is Celegolas." He said as they rode. Daniel, Angie, and Paola held on tight to the horses' necks.  
  
Daniel looked back and screamed.  
  
"Aaaah! It's a Shadowodahs!"  
  
"No! It's a Nazgul! Look out for its blade!" yelled Celegolas. The Nazgul ran forward on his deathly black horse. He held out a dagger, and pointed it at Daniel. . The Nazgul flung the dagger at Daniel, and Daniel screamed. The dagger was about to hit when, suddenly, a swift arrow knocked it out of the way.  
  
Celegolas sat turned around on the horse with a bow and a quiver full of arrows. Jenny had her face buried in her hands.  
  
The Nazgul yelled in fury and threw another dagger. Celegolas launched another arrow and hit the dagger, but didn't knock it out of the way. The dagger pierced Daniel's shoulder, and he jerked in pain. The Nazgul screamed again, then turned and sped off in the other direction.  
  
"It's always me." Said Daniel. He reached for the dagger, "Yep, it's always happens to me. The girls get dates- I get a monster. They're normal, I become Dark Lord boy, and now this-" Daniel let out a bloodcurdling scream as he pulled out the dagger.  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
"Oh, it burns! Why ME! Whyyyy meeee!" yelled Daniel. In the place where Daniel had been stabbed, no blood was spurting out, no goriness or anything; just a thin, paper-cut-like wound that glowed.  
  
"Daniel, are you okay?" asked Angela. Daniel was screaming and shaking, as if he had a seizure.  
  
"Daniel!! What's wrong with you! Snap out of it! You're freaking me out!" said Jenny. All of a sudden, Daniel stopped shaking and screaming, and lied still on the floor in an eerie silence.  
  
"Daniel?! DANIEL!" screamed Paola. Daniel turned his head toward her and stared blankly at her as he opened his mouth. But instead of words, a piercing screech ripped out. Daniel's eyes turned milky white. He stood up and started walking towards the girls. The piercing screech turned into words, but not in Daniel's voice. It was an evil voice.  
  
"All girls will adore me or die! Bow down to the Emperor of Evil! On your knees!" yelled Evil Daniel.  
  
"Aaah! Run for your lives!" yelled Angie.  
  
"Wait! I'll stop him! Freeze, beast!" said Celegolas. He pulled an arrow out of his quiver and show Daniel. The arrow bounced off of him and crashed to the floor.  
  
"Um. Okay… RUN!!" yelled Celegolas.  
  
"How dare you shoot at the King of Evil!" yelled Daniel. All of a sudden, Daniel froze, fell to the floor, and had a similar seizure. When he stopped, he stood up and spoke as Daniel. "What happened? OW! What the heck?!" said Daniel. The girls and Celegolas looked at him weirdly, and then at each other. "Okay, what are we gonna do?" said Jenny.  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
"I fear the curse of the blade hasn't permanently left Daniel's body." Celegolas informed them with much concern, "We must cure him of this evil with Elven healing."  
  
"Um, where's the nearest… healing center?" Paola asked.  
  
"My homeland of Mirkwood is not far. A kinsman of mine lives there, and he can heal your friend. We'll make it in time, as long as we don't run into any trouble." Replied Celegolas. Everyone remounted their horses and followed the elf. He rode away swiftly towards the North.  
  
"Slow down!" cried Angie, several yards behind Celegolas.  
  
"But we must aid Daniel!" called Celegolas, who was carrying Daniel (he fell unconscious), "I'll ride ahead. Just please follow me, slowly if you must." Then he dashed off, leaving the three girls to struggle with riding their horses.  
  
Celegolas rode off with Daniel silently until the unconscious boy became conscious.  
  
"What now? Daniel said irritably, as he realized he missed a lot.  
  
"You've been stabbed with a Nazgul's dagger, dipped with poison and curse. You'll need to be healed. My friend in Mirkwood can help you." The elf replied. Daniel groaned and fainted again from shock of the news. Everything went black, through Daniel's eyes.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Daniel…?"  
  
"Hey, look. He's opening his eyes…"  
  
Daniel peered through his sleep-weary lids. He was in a bed with silk and velvet comforters, pillows, sheets, and blankets of iron-like colors and cream tones. Beside him were Jenny, Paola, and a male elf that didn't speak previously.  
  
"Where's Angie?" demanded Daniel.  
  
"Ogling an elf that looks like Justin Timberlake." Paola shrugged.  
  
"Do not feel rejected. She was by your side, too, until the elf Mathias walked by… the one you say looks like a 'Justin'." The unknown elf pointed out.  
  
"Hey…" Daniel asked in curiosity, "Are you the one who healed me?" The blonde elf nodded, "Yes. I am Davisrion, a friend of Celegolas."  
  
Jenny whispered to Paola, "He's kinda cute. I was expecting an old man to heal Daniel, but he's young." Paola nodded, then Daniel mumbled wearily, "What did you say?"  
  
Davisrion merely said, "Oh, I can repeat what she said, if you please. Elf ears can pick up sounds more keenly than the ears of humans. I heard everything Jenny said." Paola laughed a bit, Jenny blushed many hues of rosy red, and Daniel stared up in confusion while he said, "What'd she say?" Before Davisrion could repeat Jenny's comment, a messenger elf lingered at the door.  
  
"Master Davisrion," he began, "I've come to remind you of the council we'll be holding this midsummer night. Then the messenger exited. Davisrion sighed, and it seemed as if a giant burden was hoisted upon his shoulders.  
  
"What's wrong?" Jenny questioned with heartfelt concern. Davisrion shook his head and sighed again, as he wrinkled his forehead in anxiety, "It's the same problem that has plagued us elves for decades now. Have you heard about it, humans?"  
  
Paola shook her head, "No, but we'd like to hear about it."  
  
Davisrion looked up at the three, then at Angie, who just entered. "I'm sure every race of Middle Earth has heard the story of the One Ring, including all of you. Am I right?" The teens nodded, indicating a yes, but in reality they never heard the story before in their lives. They just wanted to avoid annoying the obviously stressed out Davisrion.  
  
He continued, "As we all know, the three remaining rings owned by the Elven kings left Middle Earth with their keepers. However," he paused, "One ring was secretly left behind. The corrupt and almost unknown (at that time) son of Galadriel and Celeborn convinced his mother to leave the Ring to him; to keep it as an heirloom. She consented and left with a fraud Ring of Power upon her finger. Her son took the Ring for himself, and used it to rule a huge part of the Elven population. Over the years, he grew in power. Now, we elves have come together to hopefully devise a plot to take the Ring and vanquish it."  
  
Jenny gasped, "Whoa. What is the new Ringbearer's name?" Davisrion uttered, "Voldemortir" with great distress.  
  
Daniel still didn't understand. He asked quizzically, "What's so hard about overtaking one man when you have a whole army of elves?"  
  
Davisrion answered, "Once we are near Voldemortir, we are under his command. The Power of that one, simple Ring can still render an elf to the Wearer's beck and call. But!" Davisrion had a look on his face, as if he were relieved and the heavy burden upon his back was lifted, "The power of the Ring of Nenya cannot befall on the race of Man! Your arrival is a blessing from the goddess Elbereth! I beg you to aid us in our hour of need! The race of elves grows weak, but man prospers and grows strong."  
  
The four wanted to help badly, but they knew they'd just get in the way. Angela protested, "We'd just be a larger problem for you. We can't help! We don't even know how to ride horses!"  
  
Davisrion held out his hand to signal Angie to halt her protest. "Please, I bet you four! You're the first humans seen in these parts for several years."  
  
They sat in awkward and anxious silence as they stared a bit blankly at each other; they were all in deep, mesmerizing thought.  
  
"We'll help you." Paola broke the silence. Her friends looked at her, but they too wanted to help.  
  
Davisrion was obviously pleased. He grinned, "Splendid! Come to the council tonight. I will inform the members of the Council about your offer to aid us. Rest up before the meeting!"  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
"Oh dear." Said Jenny, "What can we do?"  
  
The others shrugged. Another elf came in and introduced himself as Brandion. He showed the girls to a changing room and Daniel to another.  
  
"It is custom that girls wear a dress." Brandion told them, eyeing their modern jeans and tank tops.  
  
"Oh, okay." Paola said. The girls stepped inside the changing room, shut the door, and changed into dresses that were a pale pastel color. The dress gently flowed into different colors that seemed to blend with its surroundings.  
  
The girls stepped outside and followed Brandion to the council meeting. There was a great table with many different creatures near it. The three girls stared in amazement.  
  
"Jenny, Paola, and Angie, please sit in these seats over here." Davisrion said, pointing towards four seats in the middle of the room.  
  
"Err… okay…" said Jenny, taking a seat. Paola and Angie followed and sat down.  
  
"Wow! Look at all the different people." Said Angie in awe.  
  
"Hoho! Can you not tell the difference between us?" asked a short, fat man with a long beard. "I am Skimli, the son of Drawk, the great Dwarf."  
  
"Oh, umm… pleased to meet you." Said Paola.  
  
Others later came to introduce themselves. There were all kinds of species. There were hobbits, elves, dwarves, wizards, and the four teens as humans. Daniel had just entered the room and sat down next to Paola.  
  
"What are we-" started Daniel, but was then interrupted by a loud gong.  
  
"Welcome! I am Enrond, the leader of the elves of Mirkwood. I have brought the subject about the ring of Nenya to you all. Four humans have entered our realm and have offered their assistance. Alas, they are inexperienced and need guides to help them. Who volunteers?" asked Enrond.  
  
All eyes shifted towards them, but nobody answered. "This is scarier than ASB elections!" Jenny said in a whisper to Angie.  
  
Finally, Skimli, followed by Mathias, Davisrion, Brandion, and a hobbit named Frodo Gamgee.  
  
"Elves," Skimli muttered, "I need more dwarf buddies to come along."  
  
"Good!" exclaimed Enrond with bright eyes, "Now, humans, you will need to be equipped. Mathias!"  
  
Mathias bowed and left the room. Ten minutes later, he came back with three swords, a flute, and four leather bags. He gave each teen a leather bag and gave Paola, Daniel, and Angie the swords.  
  
"You take the Melodious Flute, Jenny. You look the weakest." He said.  
  
"Oh, thanks!" Jenny replied sarcastically.  
  
"Inside the leather bag are your old clothes, lembas, water, and a protect-shirt. Wear them under your clothing. Most swords cannot penetrate it." Instructed Enrond, "Now we need a name for the group."  
  
"Oooh! Oooh! The Dannymeisters!" cried Daniel.  
  
"N*Syncers!" yelled Angie.  
  
"Los Anilleros!" said Jenny.  
  
"What's that?" asked Paola.  
  
"Peace!" yelled Enrond, "You shall be called 'The Questership'." Daniel snorted and Enrond gave him an evil glare.  
  
"Now it's time to eat!" declared Enrond.  
  
Chapter 6:  
  
"Oh boy! Munchies! I'm starving!" said Daniel, "So what's for lunch?"  
  
"You four are in for a glorious treat! Today we're having an Elven treat: Coney legs and coon tails!" said Enrond.  
  
The four looked around curiously. Then Mathias came.  
  
The Questership was handed rabbit legs and raccoon tails, risotto style.  
  
"Eww! That's disgusting!" said Paola.  
  
"There's now way I'm gonna eat that!" said Jenny.  
  
"Where's the nearest McDonalds?" said Angie.  
  
While the three were complaining, Daniel was quickly devouring the nasty meal. "Oh girls, this stuff is great! Tastes like chicken! Um… are you gonna eat that?" asked Daniel, anxiously looking at the girls' full plates.  
  
"Nope. You can have mine and I'm sure Jenny and Angie would love to share with you!" said Paola sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, thanks girls! Remember, sharing is caring!" said Daniel. About a half hour later, when Daniel had finished stuffing himself, it was time to get a move on. It seemed that the elves were friendlier towards Daniel than the others, seeing that the girls flat-out insulted Elven cooking. With this in mind, Daniel was given another gift by Mathias: a shape- shifting potion. This could let Daniel transform into anybody or anything. There was enough of the potion to let him transform seven times. Mathias warned him to use it wisely, and only in emergencies. Daniel thanked Mathias, joined with the girls, and the Questership began their journey of a lifetime!  
  
Chapter 6:  
  
"We shall pass through the fields between Mirkwood and the river Anduin until we reach that river. We will sail downwards until we reach a fork. We'll get off there and visit Lothlorien, just to gain some rest. Then we walk south to the forest of Fangorn. Voldemortir lies there in a castle built by Orcs." Davisrion remarked.  
  
"Hold on, please say that again!" Daniel cried, trying to write that all down. Brandion took out a crumpled ink-drawn map (titled "Middle Earth") with all the places Davisrion mentioned. Davisrion had his horsehair brush out, and used red-berry ink to draw their course on the map.  
  
"Ay, we are here, humans!" Skimli exclaimed, pointing to the northern part of the forest Mirkwood. The teens nodded, and they all sallied forth.  
  
Trees, trees, and more trees surrounded the members of the Questership. Rustling leaves and critters made the only sound; no one was talking. The diversity of races was probably the cause of the lack of interaction. Jenny started playing her flute as Angie and Paola passed notes back and forth to each other about Brandion and Mathias (they didn't want the elves overhearing them. Curse their keen hearing!)  
  
At sundown, the Questership camped at a spot at the rim of the Mirkwood forest. Frodo Gamgee started a fire, and Mathias set out to hunt dinner. Everyone else warmed up near the small fire. Daniel couldn't stand the silence anymore, so he broke it.  
  
"Everyone introduce yourselves!  
  
"But you already know our names." Said Mathias, who just walked in with a basket of fish.  
  
"No! I mean, everyone talk about himself or herself. Let's all get to know each other!" Daniel persisted.  
  
"Ahem." Coughed Davisrion, "I will start then. As you know, I am Davisrion, son of Enrond."  
  
"Whoa, your dad is Enrond?" Jenny butted in. Davisrion nodded.  
  
"Wow, he didn't address you like a son at the council." Noted Paola.  
  
"He addresses me like the next ruler of Mirkwood," Davisrion nodded in agreement, "I will take his place if he will ever pass across the sea."  
  
"Ooh, if you two fall in love, you'll be Queen of Mirkwood!" Angie whispered to Jenny. Jenny nudged her hard, to non-verbally remind her about Davisrion's keen hearing. Davisrion stared at them blankly; he obviously heard them, but it seemed as if he did not understand anyway. It was as if he never heard the word "love" before.  
  
"Learning that you're heir to the throne is enough big news!" cried the astonished Daniel, "Your turn, Mathias."  
  
"Well, there is not much to say…" replied Mathias.  
  
"Don't be so modest, my friend!" Davisrion laughed, "Mathias is the best hunter of Mirkwood! I pity any orc that harasses him. Mathias bowed his head to hide his blushing face. Angie smiled at the sight of the blushing Justin look-alike.  
  
"Argh, you scum! 'Tis my turn! I am Skimli, Drawk's son. The best Dwarf of Middle Earth! A fierce warrior, a loyal ally! You are fortunate that I embarked on this journey." Skimli boomed.  
  
"Someone who has nothing to be humble about ends up being the one bragging about false prattle." Davisrion smirked rudely at Skimli. The dwarf scowled. The four teens could definitely feel the racial tension between Elves and Dwarves.  
  
"Brandion, do you have something to say?" interrupted Paola, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Yes," said Brandion, "I am the nephew of Legolas, one of those that helped destroy the One Ring, and I am the son of Link, brother of Legolas. My cousin is Celegolas. It is a pity that he could not come along."  
  
"You are right, it's a shame," Davisrion agreed, "But he was called by Enrond to go to Lorien on an errand immediately. We will see him there."  
  
"Your turn, Frodo!" Angie said.  
  
The originally silent hobbit quickly changed moods. He cheerfully burst out in chatter, "Oh, I'm Frodo Gamgee! My great-grandpa was Samwise Gamgee, the one gentlehobbit who accompanied his true love, Frodo Baggins- "Frodo was interrupted by the cries of "Eww!" and "Gross!" from the humans. He later continued, "So yeah! After the One Ring was destroyed, Sam started a family and named one of his kids 'Frodo'. Then it became a tradition to name one son of the family 'Frodo'! I'm a very good cook, I betcha. My specialty is coneys…"  
  
Blah blah blah. Frodo went on and on and on. Everyone already started to eat friend fish, and the girls gossiped about the cute elves. Daniel looked over Angie's shoulder to read the note, and rolled his eyes. He wished a hot elf maiden was in the Questership. The elves conversed among themselves, and poor Skimli (who was left out) tried talking to Daniel.  
  
Then Davisrion halted, "Wait! Jenny, Daniel, Paola, and Angela did not talk about themselves, and they are the most important members of the Questership." Everyone turned to look at the four members of the Questership.  
  
Chapter 7:  
  
"Uh… okay. My name is Dan-the-man, and-"  
  
"Oh, dream on, Daniel!" interrupted Angie.  
  
"Fine. I'm Daniel. 15 years old, and I just got a Game Cube!"  
  
The elves stared at him oddly, and Mathias asked, "You're really only 15? Don't you mean 1,500? At least?" Daniel opened his eyes wide and shook his head. Davisrion explained to Mathias that humans weren't immortal.  
  
"Anyways, I'm Jenny. No, I don't die my hair blonde. I'm 14 years old, and I love to have fun!" said Jenny in a perky voice.  
  
"My name's Paola. I'm quiet and not very athletic even though I'm skinny, and I'm 14 years old."  
  
"I'm Angela, but I like to be called Angie. Umm, I love N*Sync and I play golf." The Questership members were silent until Davisrion broke the silence.  
  
"What is love? You girls have mentioned it various times out loud and in writing…" he asked.  
  
The girls blushed very hard and were struck silent.  
  
"Love is when you have romantic feelings for someone." Said Paola, now a very pale hue of red. The elves seemed to not have understood her, however, Frodo did.  
  
"Ah yes! Just like Sam and Frodo Baggins!"  
  
"Would you shut up about that, please?!" cried Jenny. Angela was about to explain love further, when a rustle was heard in the bushes.  
  
Chapter 8:  
  
"What the hezzy?" said Daniel.  
  
The rustling grew louder and nearer. Fear struck everyone's hearts and silence fell upon the Questership. The elves prepared their bows and arrows. Suddenly, from within the bushes, two flashlight eyes glowed in the night.  
  
A disgusting, distorted voice came out of the bush and said, "Where is it? Where is my precious?!"  
  
"Oh no! I know that voice anywhere. It could only be-" Frodo was interrupted when the thing from the bush appeared. It was (dramatic pause) Sam Baggins, the sinister hobbit that was stalking Frodo. "Kill him! Kill him now!" yelled Frodo.  
  
"And why would you do that, my love?" said Sam.  
  
"Because I hate you! C'mon, Davisrion, shoot him!" shouted Frodo.  
  
"NO NEED… I'LL DESTROY THE GAY LITTLE MONSTER." Said an eerie voice from behind. The whole crew turned around only to see a huge, terrifying beast, glowing red and orange. He was covered with spikes and fire all over.  
  
"What the heck is that?" cried Jenny.  
  
"I don't know myself, but hide in the bushes! Hurry, it approaches!" said Davisrion.  
  
"Come here, little Sam… I have a surprise for you…" said the eerie voice.  
  
"Oooh really! I love surprises! What is it?" said Sam, coming closer.  
  
"It's a free trip to my stomach! Mwahahhaha!" cried the beast. Just then, the creature grabbed Sam with his huge claws, crushing him instantly. His bones and innards crumbled to the floor. Next, the creature devoured what was left of Sam's crushed body. The crew watched in horror as the beast finished his meal, laughed an evil laugh, and ran off into the woods, hopefully never to be seen again.  
  
"Oh my gosh! That was awful!" said Paola.  
  
"Ooh, I didn't want him to die like that." Said Frodo.  
  
"What happened here?" said Daniel, coming from behind the bushes.  
  
"You mean you didn't see it?" asked Jenny.  
  
"See what?" asked Daniel.  
  
"This huge, nasty beast thing just ate a hobbit!" said Angie.  
  
"Eww! Good thing I wasn't here." Said Daniel.  
  
"Where were you then?" asked Paola.  
  
"I can't say." Said Daniel.  
  
"Ookay…" said Jenny.  
  
The Questership then prepared to go to sleep. "One down, six to go." Thought Daniel. The crew then fell asleep.  
  
  
  
Chapter 9:  
  
The morning sun glowed against everyone's faces, and soon the whole Questership was awake. Mathias got up and left to hunt for breakfast. Everyone was still on their guard; who knows when the hobbit-devouring monster will appear again?  
  
As Mathias returned with some geese and Frodo readied his pots and pans, Brandion said, "You know…I still want to hear what this love word means. I keep hearing my name associated with it when you humans converse." Paola blushed into vermilion and scarlet tones. Frodo, seeing this and also knowing what love is, cried in a singsong voice, "Someone has a crush on Brandionnnnn…!" The elves looked at him oddly, but they still didn't understand.  
  
"Shut up, you spawn of a gay guy!" Paola shot back, pouting.  
  
"Stop being all Stage 2 violent on us, Paola. Haha, look what you did to Frodo!" said Jenny. They all turned to see Frodo, who was sobbing hysterically, "Sam Gamgee wasn't gay!"  
  
"Er, if he isn't, then how were Sam and Frodo Baggins in love?" Jenny pointed out. Frodo didn't reply; he just continued to wail and cry.  
  
"So… what is love?" Davisrion repeated. It was obvious that the elves really wanted to know. Then the three stopped, and realized Jenny used "love" in her last sentence. They sat there and used their super-elf brains to figure it out, then finally! They did! Actually, they looked at it the wrong way. They thought love meant all relationships like Sam's and Frodo's, and they stared at Daniel with disgust.  
  
"NO!!! That's not love!!! Love is attraction, ANY attraction to someone!!" Daniel told them. The elves nodded; they finally understood. Jenny and Paola kicked Daniel in the shins as the elves turned around.  
  
"Yéni únótime ve rámar aldaron!" Brandion spoke in Elvish.  
  
[NOTE FROM AUTHOR: Don't try translating that. I just took it out of the book, so it won't make sense.]  
  
"No fair! Talk in English!" protested Angie.  
  
Mathias laughed, "All right. Let's eat." As everyone ate and chatted, "Paola eyed Daniel's shape-shifting potion. She noticed some of it was used; about 1/7 of it.  
  
"No, the fire's dying and we have no wood left. I will go out and get more." Brandion said, starting to get up.  
  
"Wait, no! I'll get the wood. C'mon, Jenny!" Paola stammered, grabbing Jenny's wrist. Jenny had a quizzical look on her face, and Paola gave her an "I-have-to-tell-you-something" stare. They walked off into the woods quickly.  
  
"What is it?" Jenny asked.  
  
"Daniel used some of his shape-shifting potion." She said.  
  
"What?! Why? What'd he change into?" Jenny replied.  
  
The girls silently pondered, and then suddenly were struck with the same thought. "The monster that ate Sam!!" they gasped.  
  
"Mathias gave that potion to the wrong person!" Paola frowned.  
  
"Oh, I know!" agreed Jenny, "Hey, we have to teach him a lesson. But how…?"  
  
Chapter 10:  
  
"Hmm… I got it!" said Jenny, and she whispered her plan to Paola. The girls returned to the group with wood. Jenny had a scowl on her face for having to do manual labor. The elves put the wood in their packs and got read to leave. When everyone was ready, they started off again.  
  
"Where are we going?" Angie asked Mathias.  
  
"To the forest of Kirby, it is the quickest way to the River Anduin." He answered, "There is only one problem…"  
  
"What?" asked Angie with love-filled eyes.  
  
"The forest is filled with Orcs and Nazguls." Daniel shuddered at the word "Nazgul".  
  
"And small round creatures called 'Kirbies'." Finished Mathias.  
  
"Cool." Said Paola.  
  
The Questership walked for hours without stop. The teens grew more tired with each step.  
  
A dark forest suddenly appeared in front of the Questership.  
  
"Argh! That be the Kirby Forest! Now before we enter, we'll rest for a while." Said Skimli. No later had he growled the words when the teens collapsed to the floor.  
  
"How much farther?" cried Paola.  
  
"It is a fair distance across the forest…I approximate three days to get to the other side." Answered Brandion, taking out a pouch-like canteen, which he handed to her. "It may take more if we are approached by any creatures."  
  
The teens groaned and it was apparent to the elves that the humans haven't traveled like this before. Mathias declared that they would rest for another hour before continuing.  
  
It was very peaceful outside the forest. Birds could be heard chirping from the trees. The sun shone brightly and all the plants seemed to turn to it. The elves stood conversing amongst themselves. Frodo and Skimli were having a heated discussion, and the teens were meandering around.  
  
"Yo! I'm gonna take a nap under this tree, all right?" said Jenny.  
  
"Okay. Just wake up before we leave, okay?" said Paola absentmindedly.  
  
"Sure…" whispered Jenny and she nodded off.  
  
One hour later, the Questership got ready to enter the forest.  
  
"Where's Davisrion?" asked Daniel.  
  
"Inside that there forest scoping out the area." Skimli answered.  
  
"With Jenny close behind, I bet." He muttered and he followed Skimli into the eerie forest. The forest was very strange. Everything appeared black and white in it, even though the sun was shining. The Questership walked in silence at first, then Angela and Paola started chatting.  
  
"I went to the N*Sync concert on Sunday, and-"  
  
"Wait!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something's not right."  
  
"What? Wait… Where's Jenny?" screamed Angie. Angie and Paola ran to the elves and asked them if they knew where Jenny was.  
  
"I thought she was with you!" all the Questership cried, pointing fingers at each other.  
  
"I'll go look for her." Said Davisrion, equipping his bow. But no sooner had he said that when suddenly, a piercing scream was heard.  
  
"Aaaah! Let me go, you half-dead, demented zom-" But Jenny's voice was cut off…  
  
Chapter 11:  
  
"Jenny?!?! Noooo!" cried Davisrion as he ran into the forest with the Questership not far behind. In a nervous panic, everyone headed towards the screams. When they arrived, they saw blood all over the floor and blonde hair. They followed the hairy, bloody trail, nervous and fearful of what had happened to their friend. Suddenly, they came across the source of the blood and gasped. Lying on the floor was a rotting, dead corpse of what seemed to be a hobbit. Jenny was okay, although her hair seemed to be a bit shorter.  
  
"What the…" said Daniel.  
  
"Geeze! Look what this monster did to my hair! I showed him that no one messes with Kung-fu Jenny! Hyah!" said Jenny, performing some karate moves.  
  
"Oh Jenny! Thank goodness you're okay. I was so worried about you!" said Davisrion, hugging Jenny. She blushed and smiled. With their friend alive and well, the Questership continued through the forest.  
  
Chapter 12:  
  
After hours of trekking through the Forest of Kirby, the elves felt it was best to rest, as they noticed that the humans, Skimli, and Frodo were pretty parched out. Unfortunately, they happened to pick the deepest, darkest part of the forest to camp out. Very small sunlight rays poked through a couple of holes above, but other than that, they had no light.  
  
Jenny plopped down, looked at her short hair-do, and sighed, "Damn it! My hair's short, the monster RIPPED it off, so now I have split ends, and it didn't even rip off my hair evenly! I have strands longer than others!"  
  
"Don't worry, Jenny. We'll pick up a potion to regrow your hair in Lorien." Comforted Davisrion.  
  
Paola was scribbling something on a small piece of paper. Finally, she grinned and handed the paper to Jenny.  
  
" 'How well do you know Paola? Take this quiz and find out!'" Jenny read, "Kewl!" Jenny took Paola's pen and started answering the mind- boggling questions. Brandion leaned over to see what Paola handed Jenny.  
  
He squinted his eyes and commented, "The writing of man is so small. It lacks elegance and art. Yet, it is still beautiful."  
  
Jenny rolled her eyes, "Handwriting isn't usually that small. That's just Paola."  
  
Jenny hummed "De Colores" as she finished Paola's quiz. Then she scored herself. "Ooh, a 39!" Jenny beamed.  
  
"Great job! You got a B+ then!" Paola clapped.  
  
"What is that song you just hummed?" Mathias asked Jenny.  
  
" 'De Colores'." Jenny smiled, "It's a Spanish song." Jenny sang the whole song as a demonstration.  
  
"That is not the Common Speech you just sang. What tongue did you speak?" Brandion asked with a confused look on his face.  
  
"Um, it's Spanish. It's another language spoken by humans. We have thousands of different languages."  
  
"Really!" Davisrion cried with astonishment, "I thought humans were all the same…"  
  
"After being with us, didn't you realize that we're all different?" Daniel said.  
  
"I think you elves need to stop being isolated and all." Paola scolded.  
  
Suddenly, a rustling was heard in the bushes. The keen-reflexed elves rapidly clutched their bows and the arrows in their quivers. A tall man with a long white beard walked out of his hiding place in the bushes. He had kind eyes with sort of a twinkle, and he was decked in pink robes and a pink pointy hat.  
  
"A wizard!" Frodo gasped.  
  
"That's ring, Fool of a Gamgee! I am Hayden the Salmon!"  
  
"Your dress is pink!" Jenny exclaimed.  
  
"No, you meddling youngster! It's salmon!" Hayden snapped.  
  
"Why have you come here?!" Skimli scowled.  
  
"To aid you, the Questership. This forest contains evil magic that a wizard like I can conquer." The elves were very suspicious, for no one but the Questership and the elves knew about the journey to their destination, Fangorn Forest.  
  
"Ay! There's a piece of evil magic now!" Hayden cried and pointed. A pink balloon-like creature air-dived towards the Questership. It landed in front of Frodo and opened its mouth widely. Just then, it started sucking Frodo into its body, and swallowed the star-crossed hobbit! "Poof!" went the creature. Then when the smoke cleared, the creature was seen, but with a curly mullet just like Frodo's hair.  
  
"He's gone," remarked Hayden, "But I will purge this evil so that none of us will suffer the hobbit's fate! Bring it on, Kirby!" The Kirby and Hayden went face-to-face. "Fatalas Combustus!" Hayden chanted. The Kirby inflated more than ever and exploded!! That's the last of that Kirby!  
  
"So… can I join the Questership?" Hayden pleaded.  
  
The elves were hesitant and precautious. Paola and Angie just felt like they couldn't trust him. Jenny just didn't like how the wizard referred to pink as salmon. However, Daniel and Skimli thought differently.  
  
"Yes, join us!" they both said in unison. Hayden grinned oddly.  
  
Paola whacked Daniel and whispered harshly, "Why'd you do that?!" It was too late. Hayden set up his sleeping bag near the campfire.  
  
"Maybe he'll roll into the fire if we're lucky." Angie suggested.  
  
Chapter 13:  
  
"Yeah." Said Jenny. She was about to nod off when she noticed that the elves were standing. She nudged Paola.  
  
"You guys can relax, you know." Paola said sleepily. The elves looked at her, and then sat down. Apparently, elves sleep sitting up. The teens were the first ones to fall asleep, while the elves were the last.  
  
The morning's beams pierced the forest trees and shone down on the Questership's faces. The teens slowly sat up and yawned. Daniel got up and slowly packed his sleeping bag.  
  
"Good morning, buddy boy!" chirped Hayden in a loud voice. Daniel, being startled, jumped back and tripped over Skimli. Skimli, in turn, jumped up and landed on Brandion's equipped bow, which shot arrows towards the girls. The girls screamed and dodged the arrows, but landed on some mud. The elves picked up the girls who shot murderous stares at Daniel.  
  
"He started it!" Daniel cried, pointing at Hayden, who looked very amused.  
  
"Why you little-!" began Jenny, "Let me at him! You little jerk! Let me go, Davisrion!" Davisrion was holding Jenny back with one hand while Jenny struggled to get out of his grip. Brandion was doing the same with Paola.  
  
"Brandion!" she cried, "Lemme go! I wanna hit Salmon-boy there!"  
  
"That's Mr. Salmon-boy to you, missy!" said Hayden, pointing a finger at her.  
  
"Can't we all just get along?" asked Daniel with a big grin.  
  
"Okay." Said Angie. Jenny and Paola gaped at her until they realized she was just ogling Mathias.  
  
"Who's hungry?" asked Skimli, "Argh, I got some shrooms, taters, coneys, and err… a bit of some bird… think it's a raven…" The teens were too hungry to protest, and so they sat down near the campfire to eat.  
  
Chapter 14:  
  
"I just love this outdoor food! You've got to give me the recipe!" said Daniel, quickly munching away at the meal. The girls ate theirs slowly but surely, and not complaining as much as before. Hayden the Salmon was poking at his food, mumbling some weird lingo. He was a very suspicious character, and only Daniel and Skimli had a bit of faith in him. As they all finished their meal, a little voice was heard from the bushes saying, "Hiiiii!" Everyone started towards the bushes, and out crawled a tiny little Kirby that apparently followed them back to camp. Everyone thought the little pink puffball was cute and harmless. Suddenly, it pulled out a microphone and took a deep breath.  
  
"OH NO! Everyone cover your ears! Hurry!' cried Daniel.  
  
"All but Hayden listened. He apparently was hypnotized by the horrible, piercing screech through the forest. It was the worst attempt at singing ever. It completely knocked out Hayden, who lay unconscious on the ground. The mini Kirby packed away its microphone, gave a little giggle, and ran off into the forest.  
  
"Okay, it's alright to hear now. That there was the Kirby Song of Death. It knocked Hayden out cold. Should we save him or not?" asked Daniel. Everyone turned to look at each other. What was going to happen to Hayden the Salmon?  
  
Chapter 15:  
  
"Do not worry. He can be saved. We're at the end of this treacherous forest and near the river of Anduin. Its waters have mystical healing powers." Davisrion assured them.  
  
[ANOTHER NOTE FROM AUTHOR: That whole thing about the Anduin having healing powers is not true; it's something I made up. If it were true, Boromir would've lived.]  
  
"Wait, why do we want to save Hayden?" said Jenny.  
  
"It is heinous to abandon a being in need. We are obliged to aid him." Said Jenny.  
  
"Mount your horses! We must ride swiftly. Anduin loses its magic after sunset. We may be too late if we wait until next sunrise." Ordered Davisrion. He carried the tall, heavy, pink-clad wizard and placed him on his horse. Everyone got on their steeds and rode to the west.  
  
Many hours passed as they rode non-stop. The youths eyed the sun, which sank from its former place after every passing hour. By the time they got out of the forest, it was approximately 4:00 PM. Davisrion used his Elven lore and wisdom to predict that the sun fully sets at 6:45b PM. They only had about three hours to complete their task.  
  
Everyone was weary, and the horses were in bad shape. Skimli and Daniel's horse started to foam a bit at the mouth. Dwarves hate horses, so he didn't want to ride alone. Finally, their mahogany Charleston pony collapsed from exhaustion.  
  
"Stupid moldy piece of useless baggage!" screamed Skimli as he kicked the motionless horse.  
  
Davisrion paused for a bit. "Stay behind," Davisrion said, "Brandion, keep them company and be on your guard. There's an uneasy evil here. The rest of you will come with me." Everyone continued except Brandion, Skimli, and Daniel.  
  
The sun was already a glowing sunset red and the river wasn't in sight. The horses were definitely worn out. Soon, Paola and Angie's horses fell, so they were left behind with Mathias. Jenny rode along with Davisrion until the elf's horse fainted. He was forced to trade horses with Jenny and to leave her behind.  
  
Finally, Davisrion's acute eyes spotted Anduin at the horizon. By now, the sun was a dangerous deep red. He rode his horse even faster. About half a mile from the sparkling river was where Davisrion's horse fell. Davisrion lifted Hayden and ran to the river. It was 6:40 PM.  
  
Davisrion ran faster than he ever ran before. Then he was only a few feet from the river. Unfortunately, the usually graceful elf tripped over some crab grass. Hayden fell out of his arms and into the river. SPLASH!  
  
"Alas! He will drown!" cried the distressed elf. He took off his Elven mail and jumped in after Hayden. Davisrion spotted Hayden's twitching hand. Davisrion grabbed him and pulled him out of the magical river. Hayden was saved.  
  
Suddenly, Hayden's eyes glowed neon green! "I vill dominate the vorld!" Hayden said in a Russian accent. Was he possessed? Nah, this is Hayden's true form. He tried to cover it up to trick the Questership, gain their trust, kill them all, and then rule the world. He's Voldemortir's minion.  
  
Hayden took out his staff and pointed it at Davisrion menacingly. Davisrion automatically reached for his bow and arrow, but alarm suddenly ran through him. He took off his shirt before jumping into the river, and he removed his bows and arrows, too! They laid some feet away from him. That's when Davisrion knew the true meaning of terror. 


End file.
